Newts, originally Newton, after Sir Isaac, was a gift from my kids, and has the distinction of being tail-less, evidently some Calico-Manx cross. Although we had high hopes for her, she soon dispelled the notion of rising to the intellectual level of her namesake, and we shortened her appellation to simply 'Newts'.
From the first, Newts was Marcelle's cat, and would take one look at me and leave the vicinity at Warp 9. Being fondish of cats, especially gregarious ones, this was somewhat of a disappointment to me. Time, it seems however, cures all, and in the last few years, she has finally gotten to the point where she will come and sit on my lap and present herself for patting. This attention, of course, is transitory at best, and the moment Marcelle sits down, or stirs, the beast abandons me posthaste and makes a beeline for her. Fickle creature!
In her dotage, she has also become quite deaf, and now has the alarming habit of yowling at astonishing volume levels to announce such important events as having had a dump, finishing her food, or simply to inform the staff that her twice daily soft food treat is eminent. This, of course, is not overly welcome when the cat decides that food should be served at 5:00 AM.
Kittens are another matter altogether and may be classified as either adorable, or spawn of the devil. They seem to be able to get up to all manner of behavior that ranges from simply undesirable to downright chaos. My daughters cat, Fawkes, had no sooner been brought home before it exhibited an unhealthy fixation with eating anything with elastic in it. This eventually resulted in an emergency trip to the vet and surgery with a hefty bill. The only consolation was that we had the satisfaction of seeing the little bugger wear the 'Cone of Shame'.
Kittens can be quite trying when they do things like climbing your legs. And if you happen to be wearing shorts at the time, this can be quite exciting. As can forgetting to not accidentally drum your fingers, thus initiating the pounce-and-bite reflex built into every cat. I can personally attest that having a claw imbedded in the web between thumb and finger is exquisitely painful.
Let us not forget that there are also cats of a size that make them somewhat unsuitable for home use, but are certainly magnificent creatures nonetheless.
When we originally got Newts, Marcelle already had a cat, Daisy, and the two cats actually got along quite well. Unfortunately, Daisy, who was a sweet cat, developed the nasty habit of peeing indoors (and not in the litterbox), and nothing we or the vet could do would break the habit. Eventually, it cost us considerable money to have rugs replaced and the concrete slab treated as cat urine is astoundingly difficult to get rid of effectively. Finally, and heartbreakingly, we had to have her put down.
Twice, we tried to get another cat to keep Newts company, and failed miserably both times. One SPCA candidate had some obscure intestinal disorder that caused it to upchuck virtually everything it ate, which was hardly better than having it pee everywhere. The other spent its entire time trouncing poor Newts to the point that she would simply hide and never come out. This bully also had the annoying tendency to hook a paw under our bedroom door, which we closed at night to keep it out and give Newts a little peace, and bang the door back-and-forth incessantly... whack, whack, whack... the stamina of the animal was staggering! Eventually, we gave up and acknowledged that Newts was simply an 'only cat'.
Cats possess a range of behaviors that seem designed to try the patience of their staff. For example, Newts is a long-hair cat and sheds hair in quantities that seem out of all possible proportion. You can actually watch the hair fly off the beast, rolls of it accumulating on the floor (and everywhere else) in amounts that would allow you to knit a new cat every four days!
And why is it that cats always have to yark up their food on the carpet? We have a single carpet in our present home, all the rest of the floor is either wood or tile, but the cat seems to be able to time its vomitary activities to consistently decorate that specific area. Then there are the expectorated hair balls that seem to combine their two favorite activities of shedding and vomiting. This, of course, is accompanied by that revolting sound that makes you believe that the cat is about to expel a lung and perhaps a few yards of lower intestine. Delightful.
Cats have other behavior that is unexplainable: they see things that aren't there... they'll sit and stare intently at something, but if you follow their gaze, there's simply nothing there to warrant the attention!
On the other hand, they do have some extremely endearing traits that I feel compelled to mention lest this post be perceived as a 'Depreciation of Cats'.
Purring. This is simply one of those things that can be labeled 'a great goodness'. There is such a therapeutic value to this remarkable behavior... it soothes and relaxes, and cat seems to simply radiate love.
The way they knead you with their front paws is also enchanting (although this should best be avoided if one is unclothed).
Some cats seem to talk to their owners, my daughter's cat Fawkes, is especially adept at this, and it is charming and funny to hear the two of them 'have a conversation'.
The fact that they can also be trained to use a litterbox should certainly not be overlooked as a positive feature too.
Or finally, the way they sleep, all curled up with a paw over their eyes... adorable!
Hopefully this missive will appease Management, but at the moment, I'm getting the evil eye and the insistent meows that indicate that the Boss thinks it's time to eat. Ah well, work, work, work!
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